This subject could raise questions or might be considered a play on words. When addressing how to fail gracefully, it seems that the word “grace” is added with the intention of giving the idea a positive spin. Considering how failure feels, many would argue it’s not possible to combine the two.
Rather than only unpack points about grace, we’re going to first address the idea of failing. Then, you’ll see how correct thinking promotes grace to naturally follow suit.
In This Article
Definition of Failure
If you ask someone to describe the word “failure,” they’ll tell you it comes when you don’t succeed. It might even be considered a result of not meeting specific expectations.
While this may be a dictionary definition, failure in real life should be seen in a different light.
Rather than assuming it’s the end of the rope so to speak, try taking on the perspective that failure isn’t finite and negative.
Even where grades, promotions, and other specific ideas are concerned, it’s important to look at the big picture when considering what we call failure. It even happens with everyday situations that take place without much thought.
A simple, yet effective point is that failure is only a snapshot of time. Until you are no longer on this Earth, there’s opportunity to change what seems to be a downfall. Even if the immediate situation appears dire, when you step back and consider a larger point of view, nothing is impossible.
In addition, if there isn’t a feasible way to make something happen immediately, then perhaps the timing isn’t right. This reflects an idea of continuous thinking and encourages embracing a more accepting approach.
Who Measures Failure?
The thought of who measures failure in your life is important to consider. Sometimes we have teachers and bosses that give grades or feedback. This often seems to create negativity if the feedback goes against our expectations.
However, remember the big picture. Instead of seeing one result, look beyond what is currently happening. If you decide not to let that be your final stopping place, then it’s not a failure.
Although society has parameters when others judge performance and outcomes, you can still create a healthier and more balanced outlook on your own. Turning internally first allows us to set the foundation for our view of failure. Being honest about how you see yourself in these instances helps develop changes when needed.
It doesn’t take much to feel defeated when things go awry. Instead, stop that type of thought process immediately. It takes practice, but rather than operating with a reactive step, be proactive to change your thinking.
Try this method as a new way to begin measuring what you might have once considered failure. Don’t simply rely on others to measure your participation or efforts. Be honest with yourself about what happened and how you can change it.
More Thoughts About Failing Gracefully
As we’ve started to flip the script for the definition and judgement of failure, it’s time to bring in the term “grace.” As an overview, any point of backing away from a negative idea of failure begins to encompass the meaning of grace.
Giving yourself undeserved kindness is the world’s idea of grace. However, if you believe that we all deserve kindness, it’s easier to have the right view of failing gracefully.
You might wrestle with the idea of giving yourself a break but remembering that no one is perfect is a better place to start. Honestly, we all deserve a second chance and even multiple chances afterward.
This thought is easy to realize, but often hard to accept when we veer into harsh criticisms of our actions. Remember, change your thoughts to those of a big picture view. It allows much more leeway for digesting the setbacks that occur rather than crashing into a mindset of failure.
Failure vs. Trials
The thought of failure is so often hard to swallow because it’s accompanied by the sentiment of finality. There’s something “end all” about the concept of failure. It paints the picture that you’ve reached the end of the attempt, and you basically didn’t cut it. There are no more chances just missed shots at success.
This mindset quickly leads to giving up. It feels as though there’s nowhere else to go and no way to move forward, so we throw in the towel.
Rather than cascading into a negative realm, try changing your mindset to one of continuation or simply seeing it as an attempted “trial.” Since longer journeys take steadfast effort and conditioning, use that same mentality to view your perceived failures as trials instead.
Even if you received a bad grade, a poor review, or were passed over for a promotion, what seems like the end of the world can be turned into something different. Perhaps there’s an opportunity that awaits right around the corner. Maybe even a better one.
Instead of assuming you’ve reached the end, view it as a turning point. When you begin to see the current issue as only a bump in the road, rather than a failure, it creates drive and more encouragement. You will realize there’s still possibility and can be hopeful toward the outcome while treating yourself with kindness.
Lifelong Learners
Along those same lines—but an even more individual and intentional mindset—is agreeing to be a lifelong learner. When you frame your thoughts with this perception, motivation rises.
Just as we discussed changing your view of failure, there’s great power in understanding that continued personal growth is a must. No one should remain in one place, otherwise a stale mindset is present.
If a new view is practiced when hiccups happen, the word “failure” isn’t even in your vocabulary. You see it as an opportunity rather than a negativity.
The point behind being a lifelong learner is not only focusing on personal growth from mistakes but boosting yourself along the way. Having an overall approach of whole-body wellness creates longevity.
Being an optimist and a success seeker promotes assessment at times when things seem to fall short. This is an important part of continued growth in all areas of health. When you realize what happened, or adopt a different focus, it promotes change. This is also how wisdom becomes a part of your journey.
7 Points About Failing Gracefully
Now that we’ve realized the correct mindset for addressing failure, let’s look at tangible steps in turning it around for good. Grace is naturally intertwined within these steps.
1. Go Easy on Yourself
One of the first things we do is beat ourselves up for anything and everything that happens. It’s been established that a quick look within is where our “failure” mentality often starts. Rather than allowing this to gain momentum, decide early to give yourself a break. Don’t accept placing blame as a first step.
2. Decide Your Mindset
After giving yourself a break, it’s time to make a vital decision. If you had a setback, make the decision not to call it a failure. Practice the continuation mindset that we discussed earlier. Decide that you will revert to a view of trials rather than failures.
3. Be Intentional in Your Steps
Once you’ve decided to maintain the correct mindset, have at least one thing in mind you would like to do next. Write this down as a step-by-step attempt and what goals you expect to accomplish. Even if it’s a tiny step, make sure you’re intentional when leaning in. Don’t procrastinate or do it halfway.
4. Assess What to Change
Sometimes you’ll know this clearly after a misstep, but sometimes it takes trial and error for discovery. That fine, but the point is to keep checking in about what’s working and what isn’t. Assessment is a powerful tool. Don’t expect to always be full speed ahead. Sometimes progressing cautiously, although moving forward, pays off in the end.
5. Stay Optimistic When Difficulties Arise
Optimism is a topic that we discuss often on this site. It’s important to maintain the right outlook when taking steps. Rather than assuming this means you must always be positive, reframe your thoughts. Optimism is accepting that things can go well, or poorly, but that there’s a way to move forward no matter. An optimistic view is more realistic than assuming you should always be positive regardless of what takes place. Optimism helps create authentic resiliency.
6. Turn it Around
When armed with the points we’ve addressed, it’s important to believe that things will turn around. If you can’t figure out a way to make it happen, consider seeking help. With technology everywhere, finding support is only a click away. Capturing an alternate mindset could help cinch the deal and initiate a shift.
7. Celebrate!
No matter your situation, take time to give credit where it’s due. When you accomplish a step toward your goal or success, spend time reviewing how it happened. Next, take intentional time to celebrate. Celebrations are great for increasing optimistic outcomes. You can create memories that will be used for recall to give yourself a push when needed in the future.
Final Thoughts About Failing Gracefully
We began by stating that the word failure is based on society’s view of lacking success or not meeting expectations. Although this might be a formal definition, there are many other caveats that should be considered when facing a bump in the road.
Our discussion continued with two descriptions regarding how to change your outlook for better wellness rather than focusing on perceived failure. Instead of allowing it to represent finality, change your thought process to capture the possibilities that come from continuing with forward movement. Try other things. Take other avenues. Keep growing.
Finally, there were seven points that we should all consider when trying to work through a setback that has occurred. They help bring grace into the picture rather than shunning a healthier mindset.
Making a change when considering how we’ve always viewed failure is long overdue. You can create a safe space and a healthier thought process for steps along your journey.