It’s a struggle that we sometimes face. Trying to cope when it feels like no one cares.
There’s a long list of emotional baggage that accompanies this sentiment including anxiety, depression, frustration, and anger. It’s possible to be surrounded yet feel alone.
With social media, we’re inundated with notifications and experience “likes”, but still feel empty as though no one cares.
This is often from learning to build relationships through a screen and from a distance. We’re in virtual relationships but aren’t gaining the benefits of true social interaction.
While it might seem like an annoying assumption to generations who are deemed “fine,” we’re witnessing suicide rates climb, numerous mental health challenges, and our youth (and society in general) struggling with a “reality” that the world is dumping on us.
It can seem as though no one cares based on our perception of the circumstances all around. But is our perception skewed or truly valid?
It’s not to say feelings aren’t real, but often we draw conclusions based on our emotions rather than a complete view of the situation. We’re quick to give away our power to others then struggle when they don’t react how we expect.
This is a common root of assuming no one cares. Let’s look at 11 steps that can help when you’re suffering from this feeling.
In This Article
1. Assess Your Mindset
The first step in overcoming the feeling that no one cares is assessing your mindset. It’s important to understand what’s taking place in your thoughts.
Recalling that emotions stem from thoughts helps you begin to capture how these same thoughts create negative feelings. This includes effects such as loneliness, shame, and fear that lead us to think no one cares about what we’re going through.
In the midst of a view that friends don’t care, your mindset is an important gauge. Realizing that friends who don’t have your back might not be true friends at all is hard but necessary. People grow apart and circumstances change throughout multiple stages of life.
Another point is to recognize that there are people who want what’s best for you. If you’re in a downward spiral, it’s not necessary to only depend on those in your immediate vicinity. Professionals often help you change incorrect views of your situation.
(This is a topic all its own, but it is important to take steps to address unresolved trauma in your life. This shapes your mindset whether you realize it or not.)
Someone that has your best interest at heart, and leans in during your time of need, might be considered a solution to help change your outlook.
This begins by combatting untruths about your worth, abilities, and talents. Changing your mindset is only possible when you release the dirt that’s muddying your filter. There’s little room for new, clean views unless you take out the garbage.
This leads us to the point of realizing your control.
2. Realize Your Control
Once you begin to gain a deeper understanding that there’s power in your mindset, the next step is to realize what you control, and what you don’t.
One point that we struggle with is the assumption that we can change someone else’s thoughts or feelings. Or even coerce them into seeing things our way. However, there’s truly never success in this, especially long term.
Rather than focus on trying to get others to change, focus on your own steps. Not for selfish reasons, but from the standpoint that you’re only able to alter your own character, reactions, and emotions. Not theirs.
Feeling let down because you assume no one cares can often be regulated by seeing the truth in your situations. It’s not always easy to walk away, or label the truth if it’s hurtful, but sometimes we should use our control for a fresh start.
Ask yourself if the circumstances are healthy? If the answer is “no,” then use your insight to make different choices.
Our perception is usually skewed when emotions are involved, but if someone truly doesn’t care about you, then cutting ties with them, or establishing boundaries, might be a better approach.
3. Never Skip Self-Care
The previous points are first steps in self-care. Continuing, it’s important to have a toolbox of coping methods when things happen that are upsetting. Rather than allowing your emotions to lead the way, try other choices.
One that helps balance your being when you feel out of sync is mindfulness. An easy explanation of this is paying closer attention to the things going on within and around you. Use your five senses intentionally to sharpen mindful skills.
This practice can be used often and done in as little as five minutes. It promotes your sense of staying grounded in the moment and embracing what’s taking place.
Meditation is different than mindfulness and is another great way to focus on your health and wellness. Meditation helps calm your mind and is a way to gain better control of your thoughts which also helps your emotions. It can change your perception of the bigger picture and your place in it.
These are only a couple of examples of self-care. You might also spend time relaxing, exercising, going to the spa, stating affirmations, listening to music, and numerous other ideas. Don’t shy away from what you’ve realized helps fill you up and gives you energy.
4. Avoid Isolation
Is this a familiar statement? “I just want to be alone.” You might use this assuming you’ll feel better if you take time to process the situation by yourself. However, isolation is rarely the answer in this circumstance.
If you’re mindset is strong, and you already understand what you control, it’s a safer space. But if you simply desire to be alone to sulk, cry, scream, binge eat, drink, or any number of other “cathartic” methods, don’t do it.
Spending time alone purposefully creates opportunities for lies, shame, and fear to fester. We’re often our own worst enemy in times like this. It’s almost a form of punishment rather than a way to help the situation.
Learning how to be healthy when you’re alone is a good goal. But, assuming it’s the answer to your problems isn’t the same thing. Strength in isolation doesn’t happen automatically. It takes practice and can still wreak havoc on the healthiest person when thoughts run amuck.
If you have convinced yourself that no one cares about you, isolation is not the approach you should take. Even if there aren’t specific people standing by you at a particular time, be intentional about placing yourself around others.
Any public place is a better substitute than refraining from seeing people. Staying solo behind closed doors when you’re suffering creates an ideal arena for triggers. Once the ball gets rolling, it can be very difficult to stop it on your own.
5. Don’t Assume Their Perception of You
One way for your mindset to quickly spiral out of control is to contemplate “why” someone has the feelings toward you that they do. (Or maybe the lack of emotion.) Either way, it’s easy to spend time assuming that we know what others think, or why they comment how they do.
Stopping these runaway thoughts comes with a strong mindset and realizing what you control. Going back to basics when this happens keeps you from running to a place that makes you feel like no one cares.
We will never be inside anyone else’s mind; therefore, we’ll never truly understand their views. Even with an explanation, we still can’t fully comprehend someone else’s thoughts. Not completely.
Communication is key to building, and maintaining, healthy relationships. However, it’s not defined as harboring their thoughts. You can’t own yours and theirs too.
So, trying to weigh out their perception of you can cause serious emotional setbacks. A better way to approach it is to remind yourself that your mind is powerful. Turn your attention to what you know to be true and take forward steps. Your truth is in your own thoughts and spirit.
Choosing to shrug off derogatory comments made by others, or thoughts they share that you’ll never understand, is a skill that sharpens your wellness.
6. Share Your Feelings
Isolation isn’t a healthy way to maneuver a situation when you’re struggling. To the same point, sharing your feelings has its perks.
The challenging part of this is finding someone you trust. It’s important to feel secure when leaning in if you’re already in an emotionally volatile place.
Rather than be quick to gossip—or vent—to just anyone about hardships, be intentional with whom you share. It can become even more difficult if your information makes its way into the wrong hands.
It’s better not to experiment with trust when you choose to share. Instead, use other situations that gain trust which help you realize whom you can depend on before you really need support.
It’s also common to speak to a professional for strengthening your mental health. There are options online, in addition to personal visits. Search in your area. There are usually places that consider pay scales based on income, as well as accept insurance.
Most importantly, don’t assume that you should keep your feelings in rather than find a healthy outlet for sharing.
7. Learn Something New
In addition to the previous steps, adding something new to the mix is a great point. You might have something specific in mind for overriding, or redirecting, your emotion. If it works, use it.
It’s okay if you haven’t identified anything yet. Everyone is gifted for certain things even if you haven’t figured it out at this point.
Challenge yourself to discover what moves you. It’s okay not to have the answers right away. This is often a work in progress but can be a great driving force.
It might even be necessary to try several new ideas. But often, if you look within, you’ll recognize the little flame that exists and has already been burning. That’s your inspiration.
There are several positives that comes with this. Some include gaining knowledge, finding your interests and talents, meeting other people, helping create something, and maybe even leaving a legacy. It all depends on your newfound power.
Part of the success in this step is realizing that you’re capable. Once you accept this truth, it helps propel you into new adventures Don’t allow anyone to tell you otherwise.
8. Be Grateful
Even though being grateful seems like a difficult step when your emotions are tanking, it’s a simple way to change your perspective.
We’ve addressed how powerful thoughts are. Making the choice to reign in an optimistic outlook can bring peace and balance back into emotional turmoil. This is another instance where practice makes things easier.
Although your current feelings might portray nothing but negativity, pick one thing that you’re thankful is present in your life. It might be your pet, your family, a hobby, an awesome recipe, having a working body, and so on.
Every one of us should easily be able to complete this task. But one point isn’t usually convincing enough for most people. Try choosing another, then another, until you’ve found at least three points you’re thankful for.
(This activity is more about training your mind for a better perspective than focusing only on the list.)
Savor your ideas and think about how your life would be different without them. If you aren’t moved by this exercise, then choose things that have more meaning or greater impact.
If you feel like there’s nothing, look again. Your inability to find a single thing means you have thought processes. This is even something to be thankful for. It means that you still have the capacity to change your thoughts. At any time.
9. Shake it Up
While walking through these steps, it’s wonderful to take a few moments to be spontaneous. Do something that is out of your norm to “reset” your brain.
It’s true that challenging yourself can promote a new path but shaking it up helps you feel alive.
This might be an activity that causes a little fear or stretches your comfort zone. That’s an amazing way to create new thoughts and even other character traits.
Keep it legal and make sure it’s fun. Maybe even something that you’ve wanted to do for a while but have been talking yourself out of.
This could be as simple as taking an exercise class or participating in an event that you have assumed is impossible. Take a breath and dive in. Sometimes ripping off the band aid is the way to approach life.
10. Be a Giver Not Only a Receiver
The points we’re practicing have the same objective: to show you it’s untrue that no one cares. One of the best ways to do this is to make a difference in someone else’s life.
You don’t have the energy? Science has proven there is a release of chemicals in the brain that accompanies an act of kindness. Serotonin and dopamine create a feeling of happiness when they are released.
This is worth the effort that comes from helping others. These actions also dissolve anger, bitterness, and even sadness. Plus, doing for others is contagious.
If you’re not sure where to begin, look for a local nonprofit. They usually need volunteers. But don’t assume that your actions must be seen by others. Picking up trash or even helping a neighbor give you a sense of satisfaction. The possibilities are endless.
One of the best points of being a giver is promoting the end of the “waiting” era. When we’re struggling with emotions, we often wait on things to get better. Sometimes we even feel paralyzed not knowing which way to turn.
Choosing a random act of kindness, or a purposeful journey, creates action steps that disrupt the need for a resolution to find you.
11. Stay Open to New Connections
Half of these methods create opportunities for you to be around others. One of the best ways to combat the lie that no one cares is to purposefully place yourself in spaces to disprove this theory.
Now, choosing areas where you assume you’re not noticed or don’t make an impact are not the right places to be.
If you review our steps, you’ll see that avoiding isolation, sharing your feelings, learning something new, shaking it up, and even acts of kindness can all promote making new connections.
One of our biggest mistakes is getting stuck in the status quo. Perhaps it’s a relationship that you have outgrown, a job that is no longer challenging, or even a situation that seems mundane.
These, and other circumstances like them, can eventually lead you to feel like you’re invisible. Assuming you don’t matter, or aren’t important, in a space encourages feelings that no one cares.
The saying “when one door closes another door opens” is very true in life. All it takes is your willingness to walk through to the next phase when the opportunity arises.
Final Thoughts About Coping When You Feel Like No One Cares
We’ve looked at numerous methods that can be combined, or even used solo, to combat the untruth that no one cares about you. These are great to keep in your toolbox and pull out as needed. But even better, keep practicing them to increase your wellness.
A disclosure, these ideas aren’t meant as a substitute for professional intervention.
Even with great effort, it occasionally happens that you may not be able to shake the heaviness of life. If you are having thoughts of harm or depression, don’t hesitate to reach out for help.
Your life is precious and everything about you matters. Don’t be convinced otherwise by another person, or within your own mind.