Whether you have a house full of children or just one, it’s important to understand steps for raising great kids. Even when discovering that each child has a different personality, there are eight points that apply.
Helping them form excellent character is a surefire way to approach raising great kids. It’s good practice for parents and sets a terrific example for the watchful eyes of little ones. While leading by example is important, it’s also good to be ready for more explanation and understanding when needed.
Let’s look at eight helpful tips for raising great kids.
In This Article
1. Consider the Big Picture
Regardless of age, it’s important to look at the big picture in any situation. This pertains to discipline and discovering abilities also.
No matter the age of your child, it’s good practice not to sweat the small stuff. Picking your battles allows patience and understanding. This point also creates a space to promote discovery for your kiddo.
Sometimes, situations that can be annoying or seem impossible are turned around with a different outlook. Rather than nitpick everything, decide if it will matter in the long run.
A good test is to ask yourself if a specific situation will be remembered or needed in a year or even more. If not, it’s possible you can skip overreacting about it.
2. Create a Safe Space for Decisions
One of the greatest opportunities we have is free will. As adults, we expect to make decisions. Even though we don’t always see kids as capable to give input, they have something to contribute.
Giving kids this chance helps them to start thinking about a variety of opportunities and shows that their view is important. Children become more self-reliant when making choices in a safe space. However, depending on their age, it’s also helpful to begin teaching that there are consequences in this realm.
These points give kids room to begin forming their own mindset, interests, and reactions. Instead of being pulled in several directions, it’s necessary to allow children to experience growth in ways that are specific to them.
3. Listen to Them
This seems like an obvious statement, but as parents get busier every day, we can easily miss what our kids are trying to say. Taking time after events, school, and outings to hear their responses is a great way to learn more about their emotions. Leaning into what children say before an exciting event is another time to listen closely.
Listening on purpose is an important step for creating communication in your home. Ask questions about what they say and don’t be in a rush to end conversations. This sets a strong foundation for the coming years and helps pave the way for endearing—and difficult—situations. We already know things don’t always work out, so it’s imperative to teach our kids that we’re present no matter.
Even if your child doesn’t always talk to you, don’t be afraid to learn more about them from teachers or friends. Knowing your child’s network, especially as they get older, is a great way to keep communication open. However, it’s important to spend time listening and showing interest before stepping into those areas. Otherwise, it might appear that you’re trying to control their steps.
4. Have an Attitude of Gratitude
Using this technique helps your kids understand that we have more than we need and amazing opportunities that we don’t even deserve. Trying to approach life from a stance of appreciation is better.
Learning to be thankful for things big and small promotes an optimistic outlook. Focusing on what we have—rather than what we want—creates good character and a realistic view.
An additional part of this is showing your children how to help others. This promotes compassion and empathy which is another way to build character.
5. Allow Them to Fail
While it’s easy to use the word failure, or have a defeating mindset, that’s not exactly what happens when we miss a specific result. Instead of terming it failure, view it as a learning experience. This is a great way to teach your kids to progress.
Along with viewing missing the mark as knowledge, it’s important to complement their growth and progression rather than only celebrate completion or successes. This method teaches our kids that they have worth no matter how things pan out in the end.
In addition to embracing this learning curve, we should teach our children not to quit. Failing and quitting are similar in that they have unsuccessful endings. However, with failure, we don’t control the outcome, but with quitting we do.
Instead of allowing them to stop when they don’t like something, raising great kids involves forging perseverance through the tough times. This is especially true when they have an alternative because it teaches resilience.
6. Be Clear with Your Explanations
As a first-time parent, I realized a mistake I made when allowing my daughter to make decisions. I had not explained well enough for her to be informed. Sometimes in my haste, I forgot she was thinking with a child’s brain.
It’s easy to assume that kids remember things from one situation to the next or even understand more than they do. Even though children may be sharp and seem to catch on quickly, their reasoning skills are not fully developed.
Instead of assuming that they understand an instruction, request, or choice, don’t hesitate to explain further. Give examples if needed. I found this especially true when giving my kids choices. It’s easy for them to feel overwhelmed or have decision remorse when getting a result that wasn’t expected based on misunderstanding.
7. Teach Them Kindness
This goes beyond basic human decency. Choosing kindness often takes us to a place where others are shown greatness, help, or simply joy. This is another opportunity for character growth and lasts long beyond childhood.
Teaching your kids to be kind promotes less stress, greater social wellness, and an improved outlook on life. This will become a staple in their journey when taught during foundational years. Along with how they treat peers and adults, this trait will accompany them into other parts of life with building healthy relationships.
It’s important to explain to children the right way to treat others even when the sentiment isn’t reciprocated. Showing them the art of apologizing when they’ve wronged someone creates powerful relationships and excellent communication.
8. Don’t Quit Because They’re Older
Most of these points are true for raising great kids and for success in adulthood. It’s important to remember as children get older, they aren’t beyond needing our help, input, and love.
In fact, when you practice the outlined steps, your children will grow into amazing young adults. They will reach out because they want to share, celebrate, and even grieve things with you. Don’t assume that they outgrow needing you. Your role simply changes.
Parenting is for a lifetime and there is a plethora of evidence of this. You’ll begin to see points come to fruition in various stages of childhood but can also notice them for a lifetime. These steps are a way to show continuous love when raising great kids and are important for remaining healthy moms.
Final Thoughts About Raising Great Kids
We’ve outlined intentional steps for raising great kids. Along with terrific character traits for children, we mentioned how these benefit adults also. They’re basic guidelines for getting along with others.
It’s important to create a safe space to allow children to become who they are meant to be while showing them love and support. A wonderful resource that helps identify a child’s love language was written by Gary Chapman. It’s worth checking out to better understand how to get through to your child.
While we’ll never be perfect parents, it’s important to consider taking steps toward raising great kids.