What is Family Wellness?
To discuss family wellness, we first need to remember what wellness is in general.
In this article about body wellness, it explains that:
Health is the current state our body is in.
Wellness is steps we take to improve and then maintain greater health.
Based on this idea, family wellness is steps that we take to improve and then maintain greater health in our family.
Family health simply means the current state that your family is in.
A great way to start making gains with your family wellness is to first assess how things are currently going.
Make some notes about areas where you feel your family is flourishing. Then, add things that you would like to do better or where you want to achieve greater wellness.
I encourage people to first note what you feel is going well because these points are good to review for encouragement and motivation when times are tough.
We make grocery lists and to-do lists for reminders but often overlook the necessary steps when it comes to personal growth. One of these is realizing what things currently look like.
Once this is identified, it’s much easier to realistically set goals for next steps.
In This Article
7 Foundational Concepts for Family Wellness
To identify how things are going, we must look at all parts, not just one area.
It is beneficial to recognize health and wellness as having multiple dynamics that encompass physical, mental, social, emotional, and spiritual well-being.
The following list will not only help you with assessment, but it is a great tool to highlight areas where you would like to make gains.
Once you identify an area of deficit, focus on it for your next steps.
1) Necessities/Comfort
This category is just how it sounds. We all need basic things to survive and be comfortable so we can learn and grow.
Although it is often taken for granted, there are numerous families that may not know where their next meal is coming from or where they’ll sleep. It is very difficult to focus on next steps when you don’t have food, water, or a comfy place to lay your head.
Identifying any necessities that are lacking—and reaching out for help if needed—is vital in beginning to create better wellness for your family.
If you’re fortunate enough to already have the basics as part of your environment, encourage healthy eating and some time for relaxing. These are two ways to increase your family’s health that lead to better overall wellness.
2) Stability
Sometimes people assume stability means housing or somewhere to call home; a place to return to every day. While that does contribute to stability, it is not the only factor.
Stability also refers to emotional, social, spiritual, and mental health. There is quite a lot in this category, but the main idea to focus on is balance in each area. All aspects of your being respond better to balance.
Extremes are not where we thrive. This is true for all types of whole health wellness: physical, mental, emotional, social, and spiritual. Balance in each of these areas contributes to family stability.
This concept often gets overlooked when trying to figure out what might be going on with someone in the family, especially children. It is not uncommon for children—from toddlers to older kids—to experience fear or frustration when they don’t feel stability.
This can be displayed in a variety of behaviors and might often be overlooked as a different issue altogether. It can especially be challenging to understand this with younger children. It requires assessment of the situation to identify what might be taking place.
As adults, we cannot assume we know how a child views something. What seems stable to us, might be terrifying to them. See this article on parenting points which has an overview of growth stages for children by age.
3) Communication
Aside from necessities and stability, one of the most important points for family wellness is increasing communication. This can be challenging but is a vital part of health in any family. Understanding emotional awareness helps with communication.
Not only is communicating with other family members necessary, but how we approach it is important too. Delivery of words, tone, and volume are all methods to consider when communicating with others.
Children especially need to feel safe to grow in their communication skills. The earlier they learn to have open and honest discussions, the more opportunities it creates in relationships.
It is important not to rush conversations or make other family members feel pressured. Everyone should feel safe to express their opinion and taught to respect the opinions of others.
As we practice these points, it adds to the strength of the family foundation. Good communication also allows children to increase their self-assurance and own their thoughts and feelings. See some meaningful messages for mom shared by their children.
4) Connections
Each member of your family has a unique personality; therefore, they all interact in different ways. Some siblings may have closer bonds. A parent may even have more in common with one child than another.
These are natural occurrences in a family and can be a part of creating healthy connections. A portion of these relationships is based on the level of emotional wellness between each person. Another aspect that is considered—often subconsciously—is social interactions.
This contributes to the idea of having things in common, having fun with, or feeling close to someone. When we sense compatibility with another person, we enjoy spending time with them. It is even the case with distant family, even those we may only see on holidays.
A family is unique in that they usually have more opportunities to form these bonds than in other situations. Parents and siblings alike can make efforts to use the time to their advantage to form greater connections.
Challenges arise if there has been any situation that has hindered a relationship, or if a connection was not originally formed. While it takes extra time and effort to forge an authentic bond, it brings greater wellness within your family.
5) Guidelines/Boundaries
I’m sure you’ve heard it said that children crave rules and guidelines. I believe this is true to an extent. I wonder if the word “crave” is a little strong though.
There is some truth to children performing better and having greater wellness when taught guidelines from the beginning. Parents are strict to different degrees, but at least some guidance is needed to show a child right from wrong. This is for their own safety.
When there are healthy rules in place, that don’t hinder their creativity and ability, a child can flourish. Taking steps on their own, within specific guidelines, teaches responsibility and confidence. Motivating children is an important part of family wellness.
Understanding a consequence when crossing the line also prepares a child for future situations. There are also plenty of opportunities for positive reinforcement before they reach a point where correction is needed.
For adults, guidelines can produce healthy ways to handle disagreements and prepare for opportunities. Having things in order and creating structure is a great way to work toward family wellness. For more information on this topic, see this article on relationship needs.
Boundaries are another important part of family wellness. Some examples of boundaries are honoring alone time, creating personal space, and acknowledging belongings. There are many more, and they are unique in every family. The main point is that practicing healthy boundaries promotes children—and adults—to develop respect for others.
6) Apologies
I specifically chose “apologies” here rather than a term such as conflict resolution. It is an important part of relationships and family dynamic.
There are ways to avoid conflicts and many methods to resolve them, but I believe teaching the art of apologizing is vital. A well-timed, meaningful apology can soften even the hardest heart.
Teaching a child to admit when they are wrong and to practice forgiveness is important and brings families closer together. No one is perfect, and we all mess up, so creating a safe space for apologies and forgiveness promotes a strong family foundation.
These traits build character and encourage powerful connections for family wellness.
A hint is to make sure your children understand that feeling like forgiving someone will not always be the case. However, releasing a wrongdoing can bring about greater wellness. It can also decrease stress.
Apologizing and showing forgiveness in your family can build a platform for equality and acceptance. It leaves little room for pride to develop.
7) Modeling
Modeling correct behaviors, communication, and respect for others are important points in building family wellness. Modeling comes from the idea of leading by example.
This can be accomplished by parental guidance or even with older siblings. Discussing setting a good example is important for older siblings in every family. However, it is also vital to release the older child of full responsibility of the younger child’s behavior.
While children readily copy what they see and hear, it is important not to place older siblings in a pressure-filled situation. They should not be made to feel like child-rearing is their responsibility. It is also important that they not feel misbehavior from a younger child is their fault.
Modeling good behavior and choices can create self-esteem and leadership skills in your older children. Anyone watching the modeled behavior can benefit from the good example.
Children can be taught that they should act the same inside and outside of the home. Authentic kindness and good choices should not be reserved for when others are watching. Instead of teaching children to be on their “best behavior” they can be taught that good character is always present, even when no one is looking.
This mindset helps promote growth in your family, including for healthy moms, and contributes to greater wellness.
Family Wellness from a Child’s Point of View
It is obviously easier to understand your own point of view than be aware of what others think. In addition, as parents, we don’t always give our kids enough opportunities to show us what they know or find out how they see things.
Some parents have admitted to me that they don’t think their child has much to say worth listening to. This is a disappointing view and can readily give a child—of any age—the notion that their view is unimportant.
Allowing their opinions to be heard—and making sure they know you are interested—is a great step to create a stronger relationship with your child.
We all like to feel validated. It’s no different with kids. Sometimes, it is even more the case when they feel they don’t have a voice in the family.
For fun, and to make sure they know I value their viewpoints, I asked two of my daughters what their thoughts on family wellness are. “What does family wellness mean to you?”
Here are their responses:
18-Year-Old
“Family wellness means being healthy and active together. You should eat right and exercise. It’s also about your mental health and staying out of toxic relationships. Communication is the most important thing.”
10-Year-Old
“Being a family means you’re not rich but wealthy. You are active and healthy. Even if you’re sick and don’t feel healthy, you can work on being wealthy and have a strong bond. We’re just normal people but know how to apologize and mean it. You help each other grow from your mistakes. Pay attention to your mental health and don’t compare. Accept each other for who we are and how we’re all different.”
I have had many discussions with my older daughter about mental health. I took this opportunity to ask the younger one, “What do you think mental health is?”
She answered, “It’s how you think about things. If you have good thoughts about yourself then you’re strong in your mind. You don’t think you’re less important than other people around you. You don’t stay in the shadows.”
My girls will tell you that everything is not perfect in our home; however, I feel that they know their worth. They understand the importance of the value they bring to the family and society.
7 Ideas to Help You Achieve Family Wellness
Now that we have addressed what family wellness is, let’s look at some ideas of how to gain greater health in your family.
This list includes some of our favorite past times. There are several things on it that have brought us closer together for many great times and lots of laughs.
See this article for a more inclusive list of social activities.
1) Eat Dinner Together
Eating together can be dinner or any other meal you choose.
This planned time together every night gives us time to sit and unwind. It also keeps us in front of each other for at least 45 minutes and naturally creates conversation.
We have talked about numerous topics over the years that otherwise may not be addressed. This intentionally creates a time for everyone to think through the day, or any event, and share.
All opinions are important and welcomed! It’s an excellent way to promote a safe space for conversation.
2) Family Fun Night (or Day)
I recommend having a family fun night at least twice a month. Once weekly is preferred.
This can be absolutely anything. The more frequently you commit, the easier it is to rotate and allow each person a choice of activity.
Time could be spent playing board games, dancing, singing, walking for exercise, playing outside, fishing, camping, or any number of sporting events.
The list goes on and includes anything your family enjoys, as long as you do it together. This concept is great for younger children to have a say in the activity you’re doing.
As kids grow up spending family fun night together, they anticipate each one. Older children will likely even continue to participate when they have experienced it over time.
3) The “List”
This one is specific to our family, but you can use the idea for any type of list you want. Ours is different falls we have had over time. Yep, those events are not only numerous in our family, but hilarious.
I have always laughed instead of cried with injuries the kids had, and it has taught them two valuable lessons. One, you can’t take yourself too seriously because we all mess up. Two, there’s a quicker rebound time when you laugh off a scrape rather than cry or sulk about it.
So, our list includes times we have wiped out when someone else saw us. Keeping this list has been an ongoing activity for as many years as I can remember. It often gets discussed and sometimes is a topic of conversation at dinner.
My youngest daughter likes to regularly take out the list and review it. The point is, something so silly has turned into a fun family activity and brings us many laughs. Your family likely has something that you can turn into your “list,” and everyone would love it!
4) Retell Stories
Storytelling is a common event in many families, especially during reunions or larger gatherings. We have shared many memories and stories over the years.
My girls like to hear about when they were younger. I started a notebook of funny episodes when they were little, but I wasn’t always able to keep that up as we grew busier.
We may not always pull out the book, but by writing down the highlights, they are engrained in my memory. The girls enjoy hearing about the craziest and funniest things they did.
Parents can’t possibly remember everything, but kids usually enjoy hearing stories about how cute their behaviors and decisions were. We even talk about times they were defiant as little kids. This can create a way to discuss current situations and help them realize more about their personality.
5) Take Pictures and Make Videos
Like retelling stories, looking at pictures of when kids were young is a great activity. This can include trips, vacations, or events with the whole family.
As they get older, kids usually like to see how they looked as a younger child. Besides posed pictures, candid shots are a favorite. While this activity seems simple, it does often promote retelling stories which creates greater communication opportunities.
In addition to the basic picture reviews, my youngest daughter has started a fun trend in our family. She will randomly pick up one of our phones and leave us crazy pictures or short videos to find. It has become a fun experience for us all.
My daughter thinks it’s hilarious and enjoys the positive attention she receives when we laugh or comment on her photos.
6) Serve Others Together
Most of the ideas mentioned include time spent at home or together as a family. Serving others creates an opportunity for your family to get together and help other people.
This may be packing food bags at a food kitchen, helping deliver necessities in your area with a local nonprofit, gathering people for donations, or visiting the elderly at a nursing home. There are many experiences you can easily find to participate in.
Serving others teaches children the importance of spreading kindness and giving to your community. Another positive thing that comes from volunteering your time is that it creates genuine acceptance of all people.
7) Know Your Child’s Love Language
To reach your child at a deeper level, and increase your communication, discover their love language. This also applies to adults and all other relationships.
It is helpful when seeking activities for spending time independently with each family member.
Gary Chapman is the author of a series of books titled The 5 Love Languages. It includes one version about love languages for children. That edition is written in terms geared more toward actions and reactions of kids. He even wrote one for teens.
Chapman states that the five love languages are: “physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, and acts of service.”
Each of these translate into specific actions that can be used to create deeper connections, better communication, and more stability in the home.
Final Thoughts About Family Wellness
We have seen that family wellness involves improving the health of our families. As with all relationships, it takes work and intentionality to grow greater connections.
Each dynamic is different within a home; however, the mentioned ideas can be a good start if you haven’t put specific efforts in place.
The main thing to remember is that it’s never too late to start! Always spend the extra time and energy to create amazing family opportunities. You—and your family—will be glad you did.