Overview of Prayer
The topic of how to pray can be an evasive subject among many, even believers. The reason is because people are often unsure and uncomfortable about the particulars of prayer.
When this happens, we become disinterested in praying and would rather not “do it wrong.” We are convinced that plans, structure, and specifics must be in place and don’t want to rock the boat. Instead, it’s more comfortable to just “wait” until we feel more at ease. Then, days, weeks, months, and even years go by with no action.
Here we will look at some thoughts about prayer. We’ll look at ideas that are easy to digest. Then, we’ll check out things to do and what to skip when praying. These points are good if you’re just beginning or if you want to build a better prayer life.
In This Article
Why Do We Pray?
After many years of mentoring others in spirituality, one of the most common statements I hear is, “I don’t know how to pray.” Often people may be embarrassed to admit this if they are a part of a church or group that they feel has high expectations. Or maybe, we simply weren’t taught how to pray.
Prayer should not be boring and repetitive, have harsh guidelines and rules, or make you feel uncomfortable.
I believe that simplifying the idea of prayer—while still understanding the power it holds—is the key to increasing comfort and confidence.
In short, prayer is a conversation with God. That’s it.
If we begin with this perspective, it can encourage a relationship, and that’s the goal of prayer.
This perspective often helps create a more comfortable approach and can be the foundation for a great prayer life.
Now it should be mentioned that there are specific conversations that will take place with God as we grow. This growth encourages greater power and wisdom for increasing our prayer stance.
However, if you are a beginner, or want to become more comfortable, think of prayer as a conversation.
How do you grow in relationship with those around you? Communication and time spent with them. It’s the same concept with God.
Dos and Don’ts When Beginning to Pray
Now that we know the basis of prayer, let’s look at some ideas that can encourage a better experience and relationship. They can bring a better view when learning how to pray. There is even Scripture for action steps. It helps encourage us.
Check out these dos and don’ts when starting out with prayer.
Take Time Rather Than Make Time
This may seem strange, but it is often the greatest challenge for many. When talking about praying, first think about it more as taking time than making yourself.
Most people don’t respond well when they feel forced to make time at first. However, a better approach may be to spend time, or take time to pray. Here’s what I mean. Instead of purposefully planning to set aside time, and possibly never doing it, use small increments of time all throughout the day. Take time during what you are doing, such as driving, and talk to God.
It doesn’t have to be a long prayer or perfectly polished, but a conversation like you would have with a friend. This creates great habits with prayer. As time goes by, you will likely desire to spend more time in prayer and can easily accomplish this by then making time to pray.
Leaning into this as a daily intention is also a great way to stay focused.
Acknowledge God
Instead of feeling like you must have the perfect words or are stressing over a method, begin by acknowledging God. Believe in Him. This may sound strange, but often I hear people start a prayer by telling Him what they need or asking for things instead.
A simple way to approach prayer is acknowledgement of who God is to you. Think about it like approaching someone and talking to them. Do you walk up to a person you know and immediately start telling them what you need them to do for you? Of course not. The conversation likely includes a greeting and acknowledgement of other things that may be taking place.
Recognition of God is similar. We acknowledge Him by showing gratitude for the things He’s done and who He is. God loves to bless us for being a part of His family.
Be Real, He Already Knows
This concept is often what scares people about prayer. Or it may seem uncomfortable.
The idea is that although God knows all, we enter in conversation with Him because we desire a relationship. We choose to step. Although He knows our deepest—and worst—secrets, we can still make a choice to talk to him.
This creates a deeper relationship. A trust is built. There is no need to hide the things that you think He will dislike. Instead, talk to Him about a better way. Ask for deeper insight into how to change or grow in a situation.
We all mess up. That’s already a known fact. Don’t let this mindset be what keeps you from praying.
Think of Others, Not Just Your Needs
Although we all have needs and wants, approaching prayer by petitioning for others rather than yourself allows a different perspective.
Knowing that God is faithful and powerful makes it very tempting to continuously ask Him for all that we need. Instead, take time to lean into the needs of others. Remember, God already knows your desires.
I have often found that when my focus is for others, my prayer is answered before I even ask. Selfless prayer is a reflection of strength and spiritual maturity.
Be Bold
One thing we can be assured of is that we can approach God in a bold manner. That doesn’t mean disrespectful, it means expectant.
This mindset reflects faith that we believe God hears and will answer our prayers. I have witnessed numerous answered prayers, which makes it easier to be bold. However, if that is not the case for you, a faithful stance creates boldness.
Be aware of losing faith and abandoning boldness if you don’t feel your prayer is answered. We don’t know the “how,” the “why,” or the “when,” but His Word tells us that He hears and answers our prayers. This message creates hope.
Don’t be afraid to boldly take the lead and manage your prayer life intentionally by approaching God.
Don’t Make Prayer Tedious
As you have heard me mention, it’s not the best idea to set up a tedious schedule or follow that mindset. Try not to create a difficult situation when starting out with prayer.
It may seem foreign to some, but a basic process works well. Once you have consistency in prayer, your hunger for further understanding, and a deeper relationship, drives a greater effort.
If the right heart and intention is the focus—more than setting a guideline for specifics—it will bring a better response. Perfection is not the goal, communication is.
It’s also important to mention that we often give up quickly when things seem too hard. Creating a tedious prayer life discourages action. Skipping prayer because it seems hard negates the benefit of praying.
Don’t Hide What You Think is Negative
We realize that no one is perfect, yet we continuously judge our actions and decisions. We are critical, have regrets, and even shame. These mindsets can cause isolation or the view that we shouldn’t be transparent, and emotional awareness can be difficult.
This is frequently the same approach with prayer. Often, we prefer to skip over the things that are the most difficult to admit. Even though God knows and sees all, there is often a thought that we should turn attention from our faults. However, God already knows.
The key here is to understand that we don’t have to feel alone or hide things. There is great healing that comes from transparency and honesty during prayer. Instead of hiding, have an open heart to face those things that are difficult. New ideas and perspectives can come when we admit them instead of burying situations.
Don’t Always Use a Prayer Plan
When you have a plan for prayer, you might miss what God is saying or possibly the whole picture. If you lean into prayer with an agenda, and stay focused only on it, you can overlook the power of prayer.
Just as with reciting the same prayers without heartfelt connection, having a plan you must stick to is limiting. It does not allow room for wisdom or growth.
God has great plans, and they don’t involve an exact, preconceived notion that we decide on. Staying open to other avenues, thoughts, and actions helps foster greater faith.
Don’t Stick to One Prayer Posture
Let’s begin with an explanation of prayer posture. In this discussion, it is meant to be how you posture yourself when you pray.
For example, you most often see people praying with heads down and hands folded. Why? This has become the normal representation of a prayer posture. However, it has never been said that you cannot pray in numerous ways.
While that posture can allow a greater invitation of respect, there are other stances you might take—with an appropriate heart—that are powerful and respectful.
Think about standing, walking, sitting, or even lying down. You might pray in one of these postures while in a particular setting, such as outdoors. Any posture that creates a point of connection and attention brings a better outcome.
Doesn’t Have to Be Structured
Along with not being focused on an exact plan for perfection, prayer can also be spontaneous and meaningful. It does not have to be structured with specifics or a schedule. Also, you don’t need to always have particular words prepared.
As we have seen, God desires your heart and would prefer a relationship over a rigid prayer life. Being robotic or repetitive does not necessarily promote greatness in prayer.
Sometimes preparation helps us feel smarter or more complete. However, God does not have that expectation of us. That’s based on our own mindset.
It’s better to begin with something spontaneous than to complicate things and never take the step.
Check out this article to see my spiritual journey.
Final Thoughts About How to Pray
The greatest importance of prayer is to lean in with a willing heart and stay responsive to prayer. It is powerful and when used as intended, you don’t have to worry about agendas and judgement.
As you spend time and grow more comfortable with the peace and grace of prayer, you will naturally seek more information. This may include gaining knowledge, increasing your time praying, or realizing a greater desire to share prayer with others. Your willingness can lead to wisdom.
God naturally moves us into a place of growth, but it’s better to begin with a true heart and less structure than to worry about perfection and never step.